I firmly believe that some of the most memorable, the most important moments of life are insignificant to nearly everybody else.
The ones you love the most may not even remember them as the best. And through the years, those memories may be painted with careful strokes in your mind that make them prettier or more valuable to you than they were even on that day.
November 3, 1990, is one of those days for me. In the realm of importance, that 41-20 win over Temple at Neyland Stadium doesn’t mark one of the best times for the Vols. Heck, the week before was an especially dark time. That was when UT was ranked No. 3 in the country and found a way to lose to a bad Alabama team and first-year coach Gene Stallings, 9-6.

But for a lower middle-class family with two young kids, that day provided the perfect opportunity for a Dad to take his 11-year-old son to his first Vols game. So, as I sat in the upper deck, rankings and national prominence didn’t matter nearly as much to me as sitting there with my Dad, watching the Vols win.
It was the first of many, many trips and many, many memories for me and my Dad in Neyland. Some of the best we witnessed included the 1998 Florida and Arkansas games and a pair of wins over Alabama. Then there was Jabari Davis Fumble game against Georgia when we watched the game unravel and walked out late in the third quarter, only to get to our car that was blocked in behind some drunk frat boy’s house. The fans in the cars in front of us decided to drown their sorrows, so Dad and I sat there steaming and stewing for hours after the game.
Without trying too much to wax poetic, those memories rush back like a reel of my childhood and young adulthood when I think of them. When your Dad is also your best friend, you don’t only have sports as memories because there is so much more. But so many good times we’ve had revolve around the Vols or the Atlanta Braves or our days on the golf course. I cherish them all because I know that there are some who don’t get to cherish time with their fathers at all. I cherish them now more than ever.
On July 10 this year, Dad went in for a routine checkup because he turned 50, and they found colon cancer. Once we got over the initial shock and the deep remorse, my family and I were able to strengthen each other through prayer and through hope. Through surgery preparations, through surgery, through recovery and now through chemotherapy, we’ve been there for him, and he’s been there for us.
The doctors think Dad’s going to be fine. Though he had an aggressive form of cancer, they got it early. Through three and a half rounds of chemo, things look great. His levels are good, his attitude is great and his spirit is even better. We’ve seen every Tennessee game this year together other than Florida and South Carolina.
I know some aren’t as lucky as we’ve been so far, and that hurts my heart. But I think we are supposed to rejoice the gifts in our lives.
Now, this weekend, we’re driving to Knoxville for his first game of the year in person. Though he’ll be mid-cycle, he couldn’t resist going to such a big game. They may be imperfect, perplexing and frustrating, but they’re our Vols. We’ll hang on every single play, every single call. We’ll disagree some and agree more. We’ll cheer and gripe and hope and pray that we come out with a win. But we’ll most of all just enjoy the day and thank God that there’ll probably be more like them down the road.
When cancer comes, it tries to sneak in and take everything you own. It tries to saturate your existence, the ones you love and the faith you have. But it can’t take away hope. It can’t take away a relationship, and it can’t take away memories. It also can’t keep you from making more.
We’ll pray that the Vols win on Saturday, but we won’t pray hard. There are things in this life more worthy of prayer, more worthy of attention and more worthy of hope than a football game.
Dad’s situation hasn’t dulled the passion I have for sports, it’s just prioritized them. As frustrating as losing three games by 77 points has been this year, I can usually look to my right where my Dad sits and complain to him. Or he can look left and complain. We can lament the losses and celebrate the wins. That’s worth so much more than a national championship.
Just having him here and getting healthy and having faith that we’ll be able to see the good times again together should trivialize football, but it doesn’t exactly. It enhances the experience a little more, if anything.
So, on Saturday, we’ll be sitting a little lower than the upper deck. We’ll be watching an opponent a little better than that Temple team in 1990. And I’m a little older than 11. But it’s another day with Dad, and that’s the most important thing. One day, when I’m a Dad, we’ll take my kid to Neyland Stadium, and the three of us will take in the atmosphere, talk about the memories we have and enjoy the day.
Win or lose.
Ghost of Neyland
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