Who would have thought it? Last week of the season and the number 1 and 2 teams in the BCS both lose. I can understand the Missouri loss, but the West Virginia loss simply baffles me. I know it’s a rivalry game and all that jazz, but still. You have a chance, at home, as a 4 touchdown favorite to make it to the National Championship and you blow it. One word. Wow. So what does that mean to me? What difference does it make to me?
Personally, I hate LSU (and that’s about as nice as I can put it). I hate Les Miles and the reasons are quite obvious. Number 1 - He has to have the largest head on this planet. Seriously. Doctors in Indonesia have confirmed such fact. He doesn’t hold the nickname “Hat” for nothing. I mean come on! Anytime a ”one size fits all” hat doesn’t even remotely come close to fitting, you have a problem. Number 2 - He might be, no, he is the stupidest coach in the history of mankind (once again, that’s as nice as I can say it). Honestly, some of the calls and decisions this man has made simply makes my jaw drop. Number 3, kinda runs off of number 2 - He is the luckiest person on the face of the earth. How many lives does this cat get? He and his team blow their shot at the national championship only to find themselves back into it a week later after falling 6 spots. How convenient. How lucky can one get? Number 4 - I know that Les Miles is not a good coach. Heck, even LSU fans will tell you that he is not a good coach. It will show even more in the coming years if he does indeed stay at LSU. That’s why I kinda hope the guy stays.
He’s the head coach. Remember that, big head and all.
Ok, now that I’m off that rant, I would like to discuss some other issues that have caught my attention. Tim Tebow. I can’t stand the guy. How in the world does that pretty boy make defenses look bad? How can you let him do that to you? This isn’t “Remember the Titans.” Sunshine doesn’t play for the Gators. Seriously. Tebow’s ”cool breeze” haircut alone should keep him out of the running for any award, much less the Heisman Trophy. What a joke. Some say he is by far the best player in the nation and that he is most likely the front runner for the Heisman. Are you kidding me? Here is my take on the Tebow situation. The guy plays two positions. One, he runs the read option with an occasional dead duckling of a pass (usually a screen to Percy Harvin, who then in turn, breaks 16 tackles with the highlight stick and is finally brought down at the 4). That’s where Tebow straps up to his other position of RB or FB, which ever you prefer, and takes a direct snap that he runs into the end-zone. Who couldn’t do that? Heck, we could even throw in the shooting guard position on the hardwood in there and still be right. That little jump pass is cute, isn’t it? Finally, why does Tim Tebow constantly cut the ball inside and try and run over defenders when there is a clear lane the other way that would allow him to easily score? I don’t understand that one bit. Do you have to prove your man hood to me? Well, now that I asked myself that question, he does, which brings me to my next point. Tebow’s “Heisman Campaign” should have ended long ago, when he proceeded to kiss Florida safety Tony Joiner. All bets are off at that point buddy. You lose. So with all this being said, I am starting the official “No Go for Tebow” campaign. He doesn’t deserve the Heisman and I won’t rest until he doesn’t get it. (I do, however realize that Tebow will probably win the dang thing when it’s all over with, but for the interest of our fans and myself, I will refuse to accept it. There has been a lot of talk about asterisks on awards and records. Well, if Tebow wins the Heisman, this should be one of them.)
What a cool guy. How much gel does he go through in a day, I wonder.
Lastly, I will comment on Tommy Tuberville. Tommy, you have a gift of finding great assistants. I’ll give you that. I’ll also give you props for once again beating Alabama. Six in a row is quite an accomplishment and I’ll be the first one to admit it. However, how in the world do you sleep at night? I mean with ears like those, I wouldn’t be able to sleep a wink. How do you do it? It’s a hard decision for me to figure out which is bigger, your ears or Miles’ head. Is that why the Tiger Bowl is so big to both of you? Tommy, your ears really bother me. Is there such thing as an ear reduction? If so, I think you should really think about having that done. There is not one logical sentence in which the words ”skin” and “frisbee” should be used, except when describing your ears as skin frisbees. That is all.
Seriously, look at those things. 3/4s of his body weight are attached to his head.
As I wrap this thing up, I would just like to say that this post actually started out as a look back at the season that was in the SEC with a list of the biggest upsets, blah, blah, blah. I then got to thinking that that was boring and I should switch gears to something else. And here we are.
The Capstone King
.png)
LMFAO! That is one funny diatribe…
I came, I laughed, I disagreed.
That, THAT was one bitter Bammer diatribe.
Things I disagree with:
1) Miles is dumb-ish in my opinion, but LSU fans WILL come to his defense. See my post from yesterday.
2) Tebow single-handedly wins games. Just because he didn’t come to Alabama doesn’t mean he shouldn’t win the Heisman. Nobody in the history of the world hates him worse than I do, and it will be a travesty if he’s not holding up the trophy. Especially if McFadden is, um, out of the picture.
3) Tuberville is a great coach. He finds the diamond-in-the-rough recruits, coaches them up, ALWAYS makes the right hire and wins. Despite being a liar, a lucky Riverboat gambler and a big-eared snakeoil salesman, he can flat-out get the job done.
Man, I hope Fulmer’s learning how to coach… This year (the second half, anyway) was promising.
I read this hoping to detect sarcasm or parody or at least a hint that you were just sloppy drunk. Since I can’t find those clues, I have to guess that you’re serious, at least mostly. So, as promised, here’s the first Miles defense.
You hate Miles because you perceive he has a large cranium. You call HIM the “stupidest coach in the history of mankind.” How literate of you. And you hate him because you perceive that he is “lucky”. How old ARE you? Miles is a damn fine head football coach and he’s about to become a damn wealthy football coach, and he has yet to compare the Kentucky/Arkansas losses to 9/11. “Stupidest” coaches don’t get courted by Michigan, or LSU for that matter. Ole Miss, now. That apparently is a different story altogether…
Tebow completed 70% of his passes, threw for an assload of touchdowns, and runs like a fullback with tailback speed. And he’s FIERCE and UNBENDING and PLAYS HURT and, although I don’t like the goofy bastard either, he’s the only reason Darren McFadden hasn’t already ordered Heisman Trophy Winner stationary and cufflinks. But you don’t like his hair - compelling….
Tuberville is a knob, but - well, what Ghost said…
Recommend you either make smart, witty posts or full-up snarky, parody-style posts. What you did here just cheapens this blog - in my view.
Enjoy Shreveport. not far from Natchitoches. You know Natchitoches, don’t you.
I’ll be rootin’ for the Tide.
Crunch, don’t get your panties in a wad buddy. This was clearly done as a joke. Ask Ghost. He knows my position on all of these people mentioned. I think Tebow will win the Heisman, and he deserves it. Les Miles does have a big head, it’s true. But the guy can coach. That much is obvious (see National Championship Game). And everything I said about good ole’ Tubby is true. The fact that you would take this as anything but a joke baffles me. I guess I wasn’t clear enough and the fact that you don’t know me personally may have given you the wrong impression.
Word of advice. Don’t take our posts personally. I posted this to simply stir the pot up, and you just happened to be the first to get excited about it.
Once again though, it was only a joke. Tebow deserves the Heisman. He is a meast (man-beast), and Miles (while he still has a large head, and makes some questionable calls, is a good coach).
Sorry if you took this the wrong way. I’ll try to be a little more clear next time.
Sounds like some crawfishin’ goin’ on there, Capstone.
As I said yesterday, we’ll leave the chess match to Saban and Fulmer. I don’t care if Les is dumb, lucky, or crazy as long as LSU recruits well and wins. Good talent overcomes alot and make no mistake, Les will only get better. What competitors HATE about the guy is that he’s 33-6 in HIS FIRST THREE YEARS at LSU. That’s right…this “dumbass” has accomplished what no-one else has been able to do in the SEC. Not Saban, not Fulmer, not Tubby, not Spurrier, not Zook, not Richt, not even The Bear. (BTW, the latter is dead.)
Sounds to me like the green-eyed monster is peeking through Capstone’s armor. Smellin’ like sour grapes, to me. I do find much entertainment in Bammer rants. While I am tweaked by Tebow’s talent and Tubby’s cunning, I got to respect it.
Dude - didn’t take anything personally. And I don’t wear panties as far as you know….
I figured Ghost must know you better than me, and since he took the time to “disagree” with your “diatribe”, I took that to mean he thought you were serious as well. My bad.
My parody/joke meter must need a new battery.
No matter. I enjoy defending Miles. He’s worth the effort.
Roll Tide! Beat the Buffs.
Crunch,
Ghost disagrees with everything I say, that’s just the nature of a UA-UT friendship. Like I said though, I was just making this as a joke and it bothers me that it could be taken as anything more than a joke.