Well, I’ve brought out the heavy artillery.

I simply don’t wear The Hat ever during Tennessee games. When I was in high school, I bought the coolest Tennessee hat ever - a white Vols hat with “university of” in little letters over an arching TENNESSEE written in orange. Being the stupid high school kid that I was, I did what many high school kids do and made the hat look “worn,” getting scissors and ripping out the inner-lining, driving slowly down the road and running the bill along the asphalt and then washing it countless times.

In college, I was a freshman in 1998, and the hat accompanied me on all 10 games I attended during that national championship season. Then, I watched the Fiesta Bowl win over Florida State from my parents’ house - where I lived at the time - with the hat firmly atop my head.

I wore it sporadically the next year, and somewhere between moving to and from Knoxville every summer, The Hat got lost in a storage box. A couple of years ago, I found it again, and I don’t think I’ve worn it for a football or basketball game since - until tonight.

Over time, the whiteness of the hat became yellow, and it settled into a beautiful, comfortable work hat. When I realized the novelty it was, I retired it to the hat rack to only be worn at special times. I figure against the powerful Louisville Cardinals, the Vols will need all the help they can get. It was time for the magic of The Hat. We’ll see if it can help …

7:58 — I walk into Dad’s house after driving the two miles from my own. It sounds like a short trip, but it’s crossing the state line from Alabama into Tennessee. To give you the perfect scene setting of how I feel, they’ve spread chicken manure over the pastures around my house, so it smells like crap - literally - in Alabama right now. Up here, you can see the beautiful mountains and smell the crispness of spring. Honestly. I hate Alabama.

8:06 – Well, the good news is North Carolina is up by about 75 on Washington State. The bad news is we won’t have to worry about the Heels unless we play our butts off tonight. Honestly, UNC is far down on my list of worries at the moment.

8:13 – I just realized we are sitting in the same place - me and Dad - as we were last year during the Sweet 16 loss to Ohio State. “I don’t think that’ll matter,” Dad says. Screw it. I’m not moving. The Hat Trumps All Earthly Things.

8:16 — In case you were wondering, I’m still angry about not getting a one seed. How ridiculous was the Vols’ schedule, a schedule where we rolled up the No. 1 RPI? Well, two teams we played and beat ON THE ROAD OR ON A NEUTRAL SITE (Xavier and West Virginia) are playing for an Elite Eight berth, and playing well.

8:22 – I’m going to throw up waiting. Just thought you guys should know. Chinese food was a bad choice.

8:25 — (Randomly thinking about and praying that Ramar Smith starts and plays most of the night at point guard but stays far, far away from the free-throw line in clutch situations.)

8:26 – NOOOOOOOO! West Virginia and Xavier are going into overtime … Puhleeeeeze don’t let this game be going on while the Vols are playing. Puhleeeeeeeeeeeeze!

8:34 – My Dad hates all the national media. Just throwing that out there.

8:45 – Well, some West Virginia kid named Smith left B.J. Raymond WIDE OPEN with 2 seconds left on the shot clock for a four-point lead in overtime. What I hate, though, is Bob Huggins is ALL OVER the kid who left him open. But goodness, like that poor guy is not going to remember this for the rest of his life. No reason to bash him. Show a little class, Huggins. Teach, just don’t chew him out.

8:50 — OK, WV/Xavier is over. Bring on the Cardinals!!!

8:55 – Bill Raftery’s phantom, “ooh, it’s hot” handshake of Xavier’s Raymond in the postgame interview was very queer. I think Raftery smoka da ganja.

8:56 – CBS hates UT so much it shows our only ugly cheerleader in the promo.

8:58 – Jeez, I remember when Cuba Gooding Jr. was a hot ticket in Hollywood, winning Oscars. Now, after “Snow Dogs” and that movie about the gay boat? He’s doing the worst Hanes commercials ever. I think to spice those commercials up a bit, it needs to show Jordan with a cigar in his mouth at a poker table, and an almost-naked Gooding shivers in his seat as Jordan says with a grin, “There goes the Hanes, Cuba,” before it cutting to the ad.

9:01 – Rick Pitino has beaten UT teams 13 consecutive times? Dear Lord … Quick turnover, quick steal, quick start. 2-0 Vols.

9:05 – Just what we couldn’t have happen, Wayne Chism has two ticky-tack fouls in the first 1:45. Here comes the sesame chicken. …

9:10 – Bruce’s tie looks like the painted bathroom wall in a Mexican restaurant.

9:12 – Lofton shoots from Kitty Hawk and clanks it. We don’t need that this early, especially when you’re 4-of-18. Louisville’s got the early 11-7 lead. “Gosh, we need Lofton to get hot and give us a 25-point game,” Dad says. That may be what it takes to win …

9:16 – The Cardinals have five turnovers in their last six possessions. We need to start taking advantage of it. Dang it, Louisville with a three and we’re down six.

9:20 — Tennessee with eight points in eight minutes. We’ve gotten fouled the last three trips down the court, but no call. It’s 19-8 Louisville. We’re just playing badly and not getting any help, either. We’ve not started this terribly all year.

9:26 — Pearl is determined to play Prince. But he’s not the problem right now. We’re simply not finishing. We’re 4-of-16 from the floor. Down 22-8.

9:30 — They’re absolutely killing us. We’ve not scored in 8:16.

9:31 – FINALLY!!!! JAJUAN ENDS THE DROUGHT WITH A 3. Then, JaJuan with a behind-the-back pass to Wayne Chism for a dunk. Why not? If you’re going to lose, lose flashy. (That was a joke. We’re not beat yet.)

9:35 – One positive for next year (no, I’m not looking ahead already) is Chism is really, really developing his low-post moves. He’s going to be a star.

9:38 — Tyler Smith just tipped in the dang ball on a defensive rebound. Crap! That’s not a good omen.

9:42 — In case you were wondering, me and Dad are absolutely ripping the officials at this point. I honestly just want the game to be evenly called. Is that asking too much??

9:43 — RAMAR takes it in himself 1-on-3 and has a chance for a three-point play the old fashioned way with 4:00 left. Missed the free throw. Not even close. Down 28-23.

9:44 – Ramar lost the ball on a fast break and it turns into a Louisville dunk. Then, Louisville steals it again. Ugh.

9:50 — How can Louisville and Tennessee play the same style defense and us get called for all the fouls? Honest to God, I just don’t understand this.

9:51 — Back to five points. But we ain’t getting CRAP called for us! This is %$@*& ridiculous! CUSS WORDS!!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

9:52 — A carry on Tennessee on a crucial possession before the half. Of course. That makes sense. That’s never, ever called. Unreal.

9:53 – Hey! What do ya know! Lofton scored his first point with 35.8 seconds to go in the half. Way to show up!

9:55 — Andre McGee hits a driving shot at the buzzer after carrying. Considering we didn’t get a single freakin’ call and couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn, 37-30 at the break isn’t the end of the world. We’re within striking distance, but five down would have looked a lot better. We’ve got a long way to go to get emotionally in the game.

10:13 — Well, we’ve GOT to have a great first five minutes. Down seven, you just can’t have a letdown coming out of the break. “Lofton just has to show up,” Dad said. “If not, we’re done.”

10:16 – It looks like a couple of the Louisville cheerleaders have eaten too much late-night Papa John’s.

10:17 — Lofton simply has no lift on his shot at all. He just looks bad. Maybe it’s the Achilles. Maybe it’s the anchors attached to his ankles.

10:18 – Apparently “P.J. Prince” just had a great drive for a hoop. I hate Dick Head Enberg. Learn our players’ names, Dick. It’s the end of the season!

10:19 – Drive by JaJuan, and it’s a three-point game. (Those sound like words we may here in the future… Never good to use “drive by” and “JaJuan” in the same sentence.) Maybe we can get over the hump. Louisville just carried, but no call. You know why? BECAUSE IT’S NEVER, EVER CALLED.

10:23 — Down to one, JaJuan on a breakaway. Then, Padgett shows his whiteness by missing a dunk. Jay Bilas follows with the pristine commentary, “Good things happen when Padgett has the ball.” Good things like missed dunks.

10:25 — Louisville with back-to-back buckets now leads by five, but the Vols immediately cut it to three and are at the free-throw line where Duke Crews makes the shot. Down two.

10:29 — Oh my gosh! A Louisville runout, and they call Chism for his third when he Didn’t. Even. Touch. The. Guy.

10:31 — All of a sudden, Tennessee is playing sloppy basketball, and suddenly we’re back down by eight. We’re just forcing shots left and right. This is terrible. It’s a stretch like this that I’ve worried about all year. CRAP! Down 10. Timeout. At least a technical foul was just called on a Louisville freshman for taunting. Got to take advantage.

10:35 – Touch foul on Tyler Smith on a three-point play by the Cardinals after a no-call on an inbounds pass to J.P. Prince. It’s Tyler’s fourth foul, and we’re down 11. It’s a good thing I’m not suited up for Tennessee or I’d pull a Roberto Alomar and spit on the refs.

10:36 – Lofton’s 3 blocked, and he continues to lay an infamous egg. I really think he’s hurt. We’ve just hit a wall. Got to start the comeback now. We’ve just expended so much energy already coming back though. This will be tough.

10:45 — Lofton misses consecutive 3s in-and-out, but he misses both and is 0-for-6 from the perimeter. Just not our night.

10:47 — Sigh. With 9:11 left, JaJuan and Tyler now both have four fouls, and we’re down by 10. COME ON GUYS!! Vols are 2-of-14 from 3-point range. Unreal.

10:49 – With 8:21 left, Lofton finally hits a 3 to put us down seven. Maybe that’ll get us started.

10:56 — Lazy pass by the Vols just throw it away when we absolutely had to have a bucket. Louisville poised and answers right back to put us back down 11. That’s the ballgame, folks. Been a good year. Our wall is the Sweet 16.

11:02 – “A lot of contact on that shot but no call,” Bilas says on Tyler’s getting mauled on a layup. No crap. It’s been that way all night.

11:03 – There has never been a worse clutch free-throw shooter in the history of the world than Ramar Smith. He’s 2-of-7, yet we still have him on the court. I really wish Pearl would get him off the court. This is why J.P. has been playing. I hope that Daniel West is the real deal, because if so, he’ll start as a true freshman.

11:04 – Three-point play by Caracter, and we’re down 15 with 4:01 left. Turn out the lights.

11:08 – CBS did turn out the lights, switching to a closer-than-expected UCLA-WKU game. We don’t get to see the end of Lofton’s and JaJuan’s career. Tough way to end it. We were not overmatched in this game in my opinion. We simply did not make the shots and did not make the crucial plays.

11:09 — Actually, the Huntsville feed switches back to the UT game. Merciless. Back to WKU. MAKE UP YOUR MINDS, CBS!

11:18 — Well, it’s officially over. A 19-point loss. It probably ended up the way it should have. We only cut it down a couple of times, and it certainly wasn’t pretty from a UT fan’s standpoint.

Final thoughts:

Well, what can you say? The Hat may need to be retired for good. Guess all the magic was used up in ‘98. There goes the season. There go my brackets.

Man, this is tough to swallow. We didn’t get any calls, but we forced a lot of turnovers and we handled their defense well. We simply did not finish any shots, and we couldn’t make anything from the outside. We went more than 8 minutes in the first half without a basket, and we went more than 4 minutes in the second half without one. When we’d cut it to one in the second half, we had four consecutive possessions where we took awful shots early in the shot clock. Like our downfalls have been all year, we didn’t value possessions, and we didn’t make smart plays in clutch situations. Like late in the year, our clear lack of a true point guard really killed us. It’s a tough way to go out, but we’re out.

Still a great season. Thanks for a historic year, Vols. It just wasn’t enough. We just weren’t good enough. There are simply too many holes when you don’t have a point guard, can’t hit free throws and can’t finish down low.

Maybe we’ll get Scotty Hopson and be quicker on the perimeter. Losing Lofton and JaJuan is going to be tough, but we have a chance to be quicker, even if we lose a little shooting prowess. As for Ramar Smith, well, he’s got a lot of growing up to do. He’s simply not an elite guard. As for Jordan Howell, I don’t know what to say. He could have been the calming aspect of an offense needing one down the stretch. Instead, he disappeared, and he deserves a large amount of the blame. There’s plenty to go around for this one, but it shouldn’t take away from the year. But it sure was an awful way to end it.

As for Lofton and JaJuan, thanks so much for the memories, guys. Thanks for putting the Vols back on the map. Two Sweet 16s and five NCAA tourney wins in your last three years after going 13-17 the first season? Not too bad, guys. Way to help build the program. And Bruce? Please stay. We need you and we love you. You ARE Tennessee hoops.

Here’s to building a program on this tough night.