Well, I just threw up in my mouth. Not a little, either. I mean, I honestly just had to get up out of my chair, run into the bathroom and gag myself.
The good news is Jerod Mayo catapulted up the draft board to go 10th overall. The bad news? HE WENT TO THE FRIGGIN’ PATRIOTS!!! HE’S PLAYING FOR BILL BELICHICK!!! IN NEW ENGLAND!!! HE’S NOW A CHEATER!!! WHY CAN’T I QUIT TYPING CAPITAL LETTERS OR EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!

nastyboys sports blog gives us the leader of the Evil Empire
OK, I really didn’t vomit, but the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach just won’t go away. This is not quite as bad as Eric Berry announcing he’s transferring to Alabama — which would be a Gouge-Out-My-Eyes-With-A-No.-2-Pencil on a scale of 1-to-Kill Myself. But this is easily a Curl-Up-In-A-Corner-And-Cry move. I mean, I just can’t believe it. I have to denounce my favorite Vol since Al Wilson? Really?
Some of you may not understand, but Vols fans do. Jerod Mayo is important to us. Forget the fact that he didn’t return for his senior season. The guy ran a 4.52 at the combine. He dominated last season. He was ready. If you watched any Tennessee games last year, you know that he was the Skittle in the turd that was the Vols defense during the early season.
When nobody could make a tackle early in the season, Mayo made 15 a game. At a new position. Because he was asked to move. Because he HAD to carry them.
Then, as a young defense matured and meshed to make a run to the SEC Championship game, Mayo willed the team to wins, making huge plays in every game down the stretch. He wore out the combo of Darren McFadden and Felix Jones, single-handedly beat Vanderbilt, owned Kentucky. Then, in a matchup against LSU and Ali Highsmith, he just made Highsmith look average.
But it goes even further than that.
When the Vols had only slim hope and no leg to stand on back in 2006, coming off a 5-6 season, who was it who dominated Cal with his breakout, four-sack performance? You became a natural leader that year, flying all over the field and becoming Al Wilson on a team that wasn’t as good as that 1998 team. Then, last year, you gave us 140 tackles and everything you had. I love you, man!
I’m biased, but Mayo was better than — is better than — Keith Rivers. When all is said and done he’ll probably be better than (Lord, forgive me…) Al Wilson. And now he gets to wreak havoc for the Patriots. The crybaby, hate-everything-they-stand-for Patriots.
THE PATRIOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This guy. My guy. Wahhhhhh!
He gets to run around and eat running backs for the AFC champs, making them even better. He gets to learn how to be dirty and grimy and worship Satan. He gets to high-five Tedy Bruschi, Randy Moss and rub the head of — I’m swallowing puke right now — Tom Brady.
I just can’t live this way anymore. Life changed today.
Mayo matters to Tennessee. And while it looks good for the program for him to be picked that high and it’s certainly good in the pocket-lining category for Mayo, I just can’t get used to it. I feel like crying. Mayo now becomes the mortal enemy of Peyton Manning. Pulling for Mayo to succeed is almost inconceivable now. Well, pulling for him would be OK, but pulling for him to play for a winner is impossible.
That would be like burning a Ronald Reagan picture at the Republican National Convention.
Congratulations, Jerod. At 6-2, 230 pounds and a freak of nature, you will always, ALWAYS be one of my favorite Vols for the things you did. What you meant to me will never be forgotten. The orange No. 7 will be stamped on my heart forever.
But you have to be dead to me now. I hope we can still be friends. I just can’t trust you anymore. It’s me, it’s not you. We had a good thing, didn’t we, you and I? This hurts me more than it hurts you.
Don’t look back in anger … My sorrow consumes me.

Keep him away from the goats, Tom! I MEAN IT!
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