Well, the Crimson Family just got back from a seven day trip to Disney World, and I need a vacation. I swear we walked the equivalent of the Appalachian Trail while carrying what had to be an eighty-five pound backpack and pushing a Disney-issue double stroller loaded with a five and one-year-old. And somehow I still managed to gain a few pounds. It’s true, Disney is a magical place!
This was my first Disney experience, and going anywhere with two small kids is always an adventure, especially when it rains the first two days (cases of athlete’s foot rose exponentially in Orlando last Saturday and Sunday) you are there. But despite the work, the rain, and my feet and knees’ nearly successful revolt and secession from my body on the third day, we had a grand old time, and my daughter met all of her favorite characters from the movies and cartoons she loves, which made all of it worthwhile. Crimson Son, AKA Bear Jr., was just along for the ride. Yet, he did often get this look of “why are these mute, big-headed creatures constantly coming up to me and rubbing my head?”
And as you always learn more from the first trip to a place than the subsequent trips, I thought I’d let you, the good readers of this blog, know all the learnin’ that I brought back from Orlando…
- Those of you who fly to Disney with the fam are cheating yourselves and children out of the true family bonding time only 12 hours in a car together can provide.
- If you take a toddler, do not at any time, under any circumstances, brag how well he is doing, what a trooper he is, or what a good traveler he is. Just be prepared for the inevitable meltdown, because it’s coming and pray it isn’t during the whole ride home. Did I mention it was a twelve hour drive?
- Foreigners love them some Disney. I figured there would be a lot, but man, I had no idea it would be that many. You couldn’t swing a dead cat in any of the parks without hitting an alien, especially a Brit. It was 2-1 Brits to all other nationalities combined. EuroDisney must blow. The funny thing was is that they were everwhere when we were walking around, but it seemed like we never saw them in any lines for the rides.
- And speaking of Brits, this trip cemented them as having my favorite accent. They always sound so polite. Even when they’re threatening to beat their offspring half to death. Most assuredly it was after they had bragged on how well the child was behaving.
- Is it a law that every ride at Disney has to have an environment-friendly message? I’m all for taking care of the environment and being good stewards over the land, but geez, it got ridiculous. I feel more comfortable with my daughter getting brainwashed watching TV while I’m at work, not when she’s sitting right next to me.
- Georgia and Alabama were the only SEC athletic apparel I saw worn by SEC fans. I was surprised I didn’t see anyone with Florida paraphernalia. Georgia led the way of all college gear, with Clemson running a close second. There was a lady next to us in line for the trams wearing a Tennessee sweatshirt, but when I asked her if she was from Tennessee she said that she was from Michigan and a Michigan fan, and that the sweatshirt was a gift. Big Orange Amy, do you have any family members that went to Disney World last week? The woman also said she didn’t like Rodriguez and that no one could ever measure up to Bo Schembechler. Hmmm, sound familiar?
- The “real life” Jasmine is even hotter than the cartoon version. Unfortunately my wife wouldn’t take my picture with her.
- Of all the countries represented at Epcot with “authentic” food, where does my wife want to eat? Mexico. We have approximately twenty-three Mexican restaurants in the five square miles around our home.
- The city of Tifton, Georgia has a very distinctive odor. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but it smelled like some sort of landfill/paper mill/Ben-gay mixture. Not pleasant.
- The rejuvenating effects of an outlet mall on a female’s aches and pains from walking around Disney for almost a week is astonishing. Scientific studies must be done.
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The good news is that in another 5 years your kids won’t remember Disney as well, so they’ll ask to go again!
…. good for them anyways
That assessment of Disney was spot-on, I must admit. We went three weeks ago as a “relaxing-let’s-get-over-our-miscarriage-and-spend-time-together-while-relaxing trip, and dear Lord, it didn’t work out that way. The getting-over-stuff part went great, and we spent time together sprinting from ride to ride, but it wasn’t relaxing AT ALL. My legs are still pissed at me, and the foreigners are amazing.
When we were there, it was Spanish folks, and I think they were actually from Spain or South America and not Mexico. I really liked the hot Spanish women, and I got slapped several times including the time I saw the supermodel at Universal Islands of Adventure. Wow. Matter of fact, when Mrs. Ghost reads this, she’ll likely slap me again just for remembering.
We ate in China and spent $50 for a meal that would have been $8 at Dragon Garden, but it was still good. I believe I actually lost some weight (at least, I hope so) but the food was phenomenal. That sucks about the rain, but anytime you spend seven consecutive days in Florida, it’s against state bylaws to be without any rain. Matter of fact, I think it thinned the Animal Kingdom and Universal crowds.
I’ve been to Disney twice in the past four years after going none in my first 24 years. I love it, but I’m Disneyed out until I have kids. The worst part of the trip was the “pregnant women shouldn’t ride” parts … but with the way some of the children were acting (like Bear Jr. I’m sure) it was more like, “Are we ready for this?”
The answer, of course, is yes, but still. LOL. Glad you had a good time. We’re planning the 3SIB cookout at the Ghosts’ house sometime this summer. More to come on that later …
TD, the wife is already wanting to go again in a few years. Next time we’re flying, taking grandparents, and I’m definitely going to hit a park with some real coasters.
Ghost, the scenery that was walking around was very nice.